**WARNING VENTING AHEAD**

My emotions are all over the board lately. How is it we can be happy and sad at the same time?

So happy about being a Grandma

Sad they are so far away

Happy for RW"s job

Sad that it's in Alabama

Happy to hear David say, "Gram maw I love you"

Sad I can't hold him

Happy for the year I had with him

Sad for the time I will not have with Caleb or any other baby that comes along.

Sad that I will never have a relationship with them. No birthday's, no first day of school, no school plays, no sports, no cuddle time.

Missing my Cassie..oh my heart hurts. 

I can honestly say that not having Jeff here I am sure intensifies these feelings. I am hurting, angry, sad, mad, lonely and feel so bad for Grace and Jeffrey. So yes I am venting, whining, complaining whatever you want to call it and I am posting this.

I often struggle with how "real" to be on my blog. Oh the posts I have written and not published.While I know the Lord as my Savior I am still human. So while I know that God has walked ahead of me I do have feelings of frustration. The difference is that with my hurt I can call on my Father to help me through. 

In my distress I called to the LORD;
   I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
   my cry came before him, into his ears.
Psalm 18:6

One of my favorite verses

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Thankful to have a Lord to come before me. 

CHRISTmas

Trying to get these blog posts that I have written late at night posted before the New Year! lol.

The Christmas season brought with it A Not So Silent Night Christmas Musical. The first our church has ever done and it was crazy busy fun! We had 23 children involved and all new costumes for each of them. Grace played a Scribe and Mary and Jeffrey was Palace Staff. We are still signing the songs.

Christmas day itself was quiet..which was good because after all the hustle and bustle of the last month I came down with a cold. It has knocked me on my hiney this past week but in all honesty I have needed to down time.

2010 in Subway Art form

Last pictures of 2010

Christmas in pictures!

Crazy Hair Day

It's theme week at school and actually we have another one next week for Red Ribbon week! Today was crazy hair day..so glad I have not taken Jeffrey in for a haircut or we would have had nothing to work with! It's hard to tell in the picture..but Grace had six different brades and/or pony tails going on..very cute!

Ahchoo!

This house has been hit by Fall Allergies! And let me just say they are no fun! Thankfully they are not bothering Jeffrey but Grace and I just want to climb under the covers and sleep through them! We are going through the Puffs! Grace had left for school the last two days with tissue box in hand. Praying that the allergy meds I am already taking pick it up and they go away!

I don't think it's a coincidence they have knocked me out the last couple days..I am going to an AWANA ministry conference this weekend and Satin does not like it when we strive to be closer to our Lord and Savior. So today I am resting and praying that I feel wonderful tomorrow and ready to take in what is being taught. Have a blessed Friday!
Isaiah 40:29-30 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Princess Party

Some of the great women in our church put together a Princess Party for our girls ages 4th-7th grades. It was a time of sharing for the Mom's and an opportunity for a couple of really great young women to share with our girls the importance of modesty and what that means. Grace and I had such a great time and we are looking forward to the next one coming in January. Here are the beautiful princesses!

frəs-ˈtrā-shən

frustration noun
Main Entry: frustration (+)frus-!trA-shun
Pronunciation: \ (ˌ)frəs-ˈtrā-shən \
Function: noun
Date: circa 1555
1. 1the act of frustrating
2 a. 2 athe state or an instance of being frustratedb. ba deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs
3. 3something that frustrates

This post comes on the heals of a post that I made on facebook regarding my frustration with the amount of homework that Grace has had. She literaly comes in the door at 3:30 and is at it till at least 8:30 which is past her bedtime! So yes I am frustrated! Grace is a good student and other Mom's commented on my status whose children are also in class with Grace and good students..these are the kids that make Principles List or A honor roll, Spelling Bee winners, active in sports and church...no slackers here they are bright kids who work hard.

So this morning I open my fb to find a message from a church member saying that I shouldn't be talking about this on fb. It is however my facebook. Yes, I am a christian..saved by grace...not perfect just forgiven. I honestly don't feel like I made an error here. Not one of us mentioned anyone by name..we were not addressing the teachers or staff at the school. Just voicing our frustration with the homework. The last time I checked this was a free country and fb is a social networking site. And we are Mom's venting! I don't think I was a bad example to anyone my goodness Christ got frustrated and even angry at the Pharisees..Let's be clear I am not calling anyone a Pharisee! Just saying it is a normal response and feeling to have.

Busy Fall ahead!

Well, school is in full swing..which includes a lot of homework for Grace. She is feeling a bit frustrated with one of her classes as the teacher seems to move a bit fast for her. This bothers me because Grace is a great student always on the A honor roll. So we are praying things get into some sort of a groove for her. Jeffrey is loving first grade and his teacher is so sweet! I am looking forward to starting crafts with them soon.




As, for me I have had to drop one of my classes..the anatomy class was a drive to Weed twice a week and the financial aid office didn't get my VA submitted in time which means no funding from them...which means the cost in gas to high for me without it. So I will take it next fall. The reason for next fall is that Cassie is due in the spring and I hope to be spending a few weeks out there with them.




Other news..I have gladly taken over the roll of T&T director for our AWANA program. We will start that on the 15th and really look forward to learning all the T&Ters names..other than just my group of girls. I am excited as we have new leaders this year as well. Really looking forward to seeing what the Lord has in store for these young people.









Crafts! Christie and I will be doing crafts with the first grade once a week and once a month (the planning takes place tomorrow)at the church as a fellowship outreach. We are excited about both of these opportunities. Christie..just love her! My crafty friend! As I am typing she just text me a picture of a magnet she mod podged! We are becoming addicted to Mod Podge!









Bible Study! I hear that we are going to be doing another Beth Moore study this fall. I am so excited about this! Love Beth Moore! Looking forward to seeing what blessings will come from this study with a great group of women.




Oh and I don't want to forget the upcoming Montague Balloon Fair coming September 24-26 right here in our little town. It is a lot of fun watching those balloons go and up and the best part is inviting over friends for breakfast that Saturday morning. Love the fellowship and the noise from the kids!

So..yes we have a busy time coming up but i wouldn't miss any of it for the world!

School has started!

Ready or not school has started! While the summer was a blast getting into a schedule again is a good thing too! I started back to school on the 16th and the kids the 24th. It has been a couple weeks of trying to get back into the swing of things but so far we are doing good..tired but good. Here are a few pictures of the kids first day.

Lavender Farm collage

July 31,2010

Meet Penny

Headwaters of the Sacramento River

July 4th!

Grace's 11th Birthday

Grace has she put it.."My dreams came true this year! I got my dog and a pool"! She spent her birthday with her bestie Ashton, Jeffrey and her new puppy Penny.

Catching up...

I have not blogged in so long and it's not for lack of things going on or to say. I have just been so busy.

Let's see my last post was Easter..so shortly after on the 16th we had eight bunnies born. Oh my goodness so darn cute!! We were also in full baseball/softball mode and with school and AWANA going on..well it's such a busy time of the year, I get tired just thinking of it.



May kept us busy with again sports and the last full month of school reports and activities. Grace did her state report on Alabama (cuz of RW) and she did an amazing job and was rewarded with an A+ and an artistic award as well. Each of the kids classes had field trips and Cassie was preparing to head to Colorado to welcome RW home from Afgha***tan. During this time I was plagued by vertigo which was horrible..come to find out it was allergy related!



So June came quick and here we were the last day week of school! While Cassie was welcoming home her hubby and they were house hunting we were having field day at school and the talent show. Grace and Ashton sang I am not ashamed by Newsboys and they did a great job. We have some mighty fine talent here in Siskiyou County.

So just a week into June Cassie and David came home while RW had some military things to take care of. It was so nice to have them back home for VBS. June brings the annual Gold Rush Days in Yreka. There are a lot of great antiques, reenactments, old time pictures, food, & antiques...I loved the antiques! Next Grace was headed to Kidder Creek Ranch Camp for a week. This was her fourth year and she loves it so much. They are amazing out there and have such a great staff of youth that love the Lord. When I drop Grace off she is teary eyed about saying goodbye and when I pick her up she is crying as she says goodbye to her horse. She loves BIG my girl!



We also said goodbye once again to Cassie & David as they met up with RW and all headed to TN for vacation. After dropping them off it was just me and my little man..so Jeffrey and I had a date! We went to a couple stores and then out to dinner. I sure love him he is still my sweet cuddle bug.



Well..after camp Grace's birthday was around the corner..and so between my Folk's and In Laws they gave the kids the money for a swimming pool. So that Friday after camp BBQ and showdeo we went and bought the pool and got it put up on Saturday the kids were having a blast and so Sunday I got in and out..well it was getting out the.. not sure what time and I fell and twisted my ankle and hit my knee. PAIN!!! I had to crawl to the lawn chair. All the while Grace asking if she should call 911 or a friend and me Screaming, "NO"! I was in my swimsuit for goodness sakes! I didn't care if it was fractured..nobody was seeing me in my swimsuit! Thank goodness for my sweet kids who took very good care of me and on Monday I was able to see the Dr. who said it was a bad sprain and a bruised knee bone that would take quite some time to heal. It is getting better slowly.

Things running through my head!

Do you ever wish you could crawl into the arms of Jesus? Or ever feel like you know your gifts that the Lord gave you and yet Satan creeps in and tells you that you are not worthy or good enough? I am having that struggle right now. I have been blessed with a love for children having had one the natural way and two adopted loves. I have felt a pull towards doing foster care and yet here is where the struggle comes in.

Having lost my husband five years ago to cancer there have been times over the years that I feel I just can't do it all. Note the "I"... I am so thankful to serve a Lord and Savior that is there 24/7. Because let me tell you I have been on my knees! It is so hard being a single parent..the loneliness alone is deafening, the chores..come on seriously I need a man around! But, the Lord reminds me in..

James 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4.Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

..that he is not done with me! My hearts desire is to serve God with all my heart. I will continue to pray about foster care and go to scripture to hear my Lord tell me that I am worthy of His love and that He promises to continue caring for me and my children as He has by placing such dear friends in our lives.

Blessed

It's been awhile since I have blogged. We have been so busy the past two weeks. Over the course of time we have had RW come home on R&R, three sick kiddos, games played, movies watched, a lot of laughs, fires in the fire pit, BBQ's, smores, watched Grace teach RW how to ride a rip stick..he couldn't do it..very hard!, bowling, more laughs, and a great time of fellowship with family and friends! Can you say BLESSED?

It has been a great time. It's always hard to say goodbye. RW has really taken on the role of big brother with Grace and Jeffrey which has been a blessing to watch. Now he is headed back over yonder and we will continue to cover him with prayer. Please continue to pray for our troops.

Now to put the house back together again!

Watcha Working on Wednesday...well Tuesday night!

Today our school is celebrating Dr. Seuss' birthday with characters of all shapes and sizes and Green Eggs & Ham of course! Here are my loves.




A few quotes from Dr. Seuss:

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.”

“How did it get so late so soon? Its night before its afternoon. December is here before its June. My goodness how the time has flewn. How did it get so late so soon?”

“"I'm sorry to say so but, sadly it's true that bang-ups and hang-ups can happen to you"”