I am listening

It has been four years since Jeff went home to be with the Lord. That first year was tough one..all those "Firsts". What I found out is that even after that first year the "firsts" don't end. There will always be something new..for instance Jeffrey will be playing T-Ball this year and Jeff won't be here to coach, play catch or cheer him on. My child will once again be noted as the one who's Dad died. Mind you people are polite and kind, it's my son that will see all the other Daddy's and ask me yet again, "Why did my Dad have to die"? Those are the moments my heart breaks yet I am strong even stoic for my children. Of course we have all cried together many times. But, it is my job to set the tone, to be the example of Christ's love and grace. I yearned after Jeff passed away for a group of people like me and my kids. The one meeting I went to was all elderly women. I was given many books to read and some were even great. But, I desired a connection.

Two years after Jeff passed away a friend's husband passed away. Ryan was a great young man. We were honored to have known him and to have heard him speak on several occasions of his love for our Lord. My heart broke for Stacie and their three young children. I knew all too well what they were going through and my heart ached for them. From that moment I knew I was being called to do something just not sure what. I would think there needs to be better resources out there and who better to do it than another widow..me. I have struggled with how to begin this process and since I love blogging so much thought a blog would be great. Well, you know the saying "The Lord works in mysterious ways". Stacie had come over for Jeffrey's birthday and that day has she had been feeling the same way started a blog! Just days before I was told of another widow. And, just a couple days ago I was approached about another which prompted me to write this blog. I know the Lord has been leading me to this I have just been struggling with what to do and not listening! He has led me to it and now my job is to do it!

I pray that the Lord will help me to reach all those in his plan. I am listening Lord Jesus.